What’s up with oranges?

I mean, really! They’re lying there, looking oh so pretty, with their passionate orange color and shaped like female breasts. They lure you in, they call and they seduce you.

So you give in. You take one and start to peel it; then it happens. It turns on you, its peel is impossible to separate from the actual fruit itself, you use your best finger work, but nothing. Nothing!. And if you’re one of the actual few, someone people talk about in folklores, a person that has actually managed to remove the peel, you come to the next level.

Trying to separate the orange wedges. There’s some kind of white unknown cocoon around them, preventing you from actually separating one of the wedges from the other, and you get a tingling sensation of the orange actually gloating now.

Then, as always, you end up jamming your thumb and your index finger into the orange, spurting fruit juice all over yourself and the room. You’re fingers are all sticky, but you won. You won!

Posted in Fun

24 Comments

  • Yeah! F**k oranges!

    Eat tangerines πŸ™‚

  • Haha, brilliant. Can't say I have a lot of experience with that. I like banana's! πŸ˜‰

  • Ã&Acirc says:

    Apples are more of my thing … don't like food that gives me trouble or attitude. The apple is just there, ready for eating πŸ™‚

  • But Arni, where's the fun in undressing? πŸ˜‰

  • Henrik says:

    What, exactly are we talking about here πŸ˜‰

    I love that you write about hardcore web-developmentstuff and then turn to everyday life strange-e-tiees.

    Ha det!

  • Mats says:

    Ah, you think you've won, then you taste it and you realize you've pealed, what can only be described as, a lemon.

    Sour oranges are the worst.

  • The white material is called orange pith and it is far better to cut the orange in half then pull the skin off.

  • Kalle Wibeck says:

    Ha ha!

    It's true, oranges can be a pain in the a**…

    Not sure if I like your "Fruit" "Bodypart" comparision thought…

    To my knowledge cellulites are often referred to as "orange peel" πŸ˜‰

  • Robert Nyman says:

    When I had just posted this, I read through it again, and thought;

    My, it really sounds like there's a sexual undertone to this.

    That wasn't really my intention, though I'm sure Freud would disagree. πŸ™‚

    Steve,

    Yeah, tangerines are much better!

    Jeroen,

    Agreed, I really love bananas (yes, still only talking about fruit).

    Árni,

    I like apple pie and its likes, but not apples themselves. The skin always gets stuck between my teeth.

    Henrik,

    Thanks! πŸ™‚

    I just love writing in general, it really is a lot more fun to write about other stuff too. I hope that my readers appreciate it, that this web page isn't dead serious about web developing and web developing alone every day.

    Mats,

    So true.

    Robert Wellock,

    Ah, thanks for the name of the nasty stuff. Cutting sounds like a good idea, but one doesn't always have access to a knife when attacking the bastards (the oranges, that is).

    Kalle,

    I had no idea cellulites are referred to as orange peel! πŸ™‚

  • markus says:

    You on drugs, Robert?

  • Glen C. says:

    Or you can just bypass the whole fruit thing and not eat any like me. ;D

    Fun fact: did you know that most fruits are the ovaries of trees?

  • Robert Nyman says:

    markus,

    No, no, I'm just on a natural (fruit) high! πŸ˜‰

    Glen C,

    Well, I do like fruit but not the hassle around some of them.

    And that fact was… eh… interesting. πŸ™‚

  • Ben says:

    Yeah tell me about it. I prefer tangerines myself. But I do eat oranges, when my girlfriend peels them… ;-p Otherwise, give me an orange juice! No messing for me, mate.

  • Robert Nyman says:

    Ben,

    Yeah, if someone else peels it for you, things are ok. And I like orange juice! πŸ™‚

  • Jordan says:

    In my experience the easiest way of eating a peeled orange is to simply bite the slices and suck the juice out. Separating them is purely optional then.

  • Robert Nyman says:

    Jordan,

    Yep, that's an alternative. πŸ™‚

  • Jewel says:

    Large Jaffas are the easiest, I find, but really bananas and grapes are inherently safer. πŸ™‚

  • Robert Nyman says:

    Jewel,

    Yes, bananas are definitely safer. πŸ™‚

  • Pauline says:

    Eat Australian grown navel or Valencia oranges-the best!!

  • Robert Nyman says:

    Pauline,

    Thanks for the tip! πŸ™‚

  • Moktar says:

    Peeling oranges is easy. Take a knife and score the orange all the way around the middle. When I say "score", I mean make a very shallow cut, not far enough to cut into the juicy part, but deep enough to cut through the rind. Then, take your knife and angle it towards one of the ends and score it again, this time between the rind and the pith. Once you've gone around again, turn your knife backwards and score it again, this time separating more of the rind from the pith. Repeat in a spiral until you've separated the orange part from the white part. Repeat on the opposite site. Remove and devour the pith (which has lots of vitamin C), then eat the orange.

    This only works, of course, with oranges that have lots of pith. With more thin-skinned oranges, don't worry about the pith. Then you can just use your fingers after the original scoring to peel away the rind from the fruit.

    The little rind hemispheres (pith intact) make great sherbet cups.

  • Robert Nyman says:

    Moktar,

    Thanks for the detailed tip! πŸ™‚

  • Tina says:

    If you like oranges you will LOVE clementines. The are small, EASY to peel, always sweet, mostly seedless and all around awesome.

    When I peel an orange, to get started I pretend to bite into it like an apple, but only make a little cut in the skin with my teeth and take it from there by hand. This works.

  • Robert Nyman says:

    TIna,

    Actually, I do love clementines! πŸ™‚

    At least most of the time…

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