Discard marriage?

Has it come to that? Should marriage be discarded? When I read my morning paper, I saw that one of our brand new political parties, FI (Feministic Initiative) have a demand (note: not a suggestion) that marriage should indeed be discarded.

Has it maybe occurred to them that problems in marriages depend on the people involved, and not the marriage as an institution? My generation isn’t usually to worked up about marriage, but I definitely think marriage should stay as they are, for both hetero- as well as homosexual people.

Like with the environmental cause party here in Sweden, FI is a joke (interestingly enough, FI is how the Swedish military label the enemy). Although, it’s good that they exist because it makes the bigger, more serious, parties to address these issues more openly in their agendas.

Regarding feminism: I’m all for equality, I believe that women should get the same pay, benefits and other things that they haven’t gotten before. But what I don’t like are those feminists whose cause isn’t about getting equal at all; it’s about getting back! Listen, most, if not all, men like you and want you to have equal rights. You can’t start punishing us for how men treated women in previous generations.

Try respect instead of revenge or hatred as a driving force (and the same goes for racism, homosexualism etc etc).

10 Comments

  • I've always felt marriage itself is rather meaningless, but, as such, it can't do any harm either. As you said, it's the people that need to make the most of it and whether they are married or not shouldn't need to change anything in their relationship.

    Then again, what do I know? πŸ˜›

  • Robert Nyman says:

    Jeroen,

    Well, you know what I know. πŸ™‚

    Some people want to get married: just let them do that, it's a pretty old tradition.

  • Tommy Olsson says:

    I thought it was more common that women want to get married, while men need to be convinced. πŸ™‚

    Although I don't have much sympathy for this new pseudo-communist pseudo-party, I think there's some reason behind this particular 'demand.'

    The same rules and benefits should apply for any people who choose to live together, regardless of the formalities. Man and woman; man and man; woman and woman; more than two people; why should it matter? And why should a marriage certificate be necessary in order to be eligible for those benefits? It seems outdated to me.

    Then again, I shouldn't even participate in this debate, being the eternal bachelor. πŸ˜€

  • Robert Nyman says:

    Tommy,

    The same rules and benefits should apply for any people who choose to live together, regardless of the formalities.

    Definitely, any other view on it is outdated.

    And for the people that want to sow their wild oats, that's ok too… πŸ™‚

  • Chris says:

    Well… not discard marriage because if people want to get married nothing should prevent them from doing so of course.

    But I wouldn't mind (euphemism!) if people turned more and more their back to marriage. Why?

    – Because marriage has symbolized for centuries the domination of men over women. And it is still like that is some areas.

    – Because marriage is a contract and I hate this idea.

    – Because unmarried couples still do not have the same rights as married couples (in my country for instance, France).

    – Because love is something really private and I hate this idea of showing publicly that you love somebody, as if you needed a proof and witnesses.

    – Because love needs uncertainty and danger to live.

    – etc.

    Of course this is all personal ideas and not the truth. It seems to me that the less ties there are between people (other than love of course) and the better.

  • Robert Nyman says:

    Chris,

    Wow, I don't know how to reply to this… πŸ™‚

    Generally, I think that married and unmarried couples should indeed have the same rights. For instance, here in Sweden if you have a baby and are married, the husband is naturally regarded as the father.

    But if the parent's aren't married, they have to go to a hearing at a social office to prove that he really is the father (this is basically just one question: where you at home during the time your girlfriend was conceived?).

    When I and my girlfriend went to that hearing, I also managed to have my fly open the whole meeting and discovered it just when I was signing the papers to officially become my daughter's father (and when I saw that, the thought relly went through my mind if the people in the office regarded me as a suitable parent….).

    Anyway…

    A marriage should only be a paper of love, not about owning and dominating. But for many people, getting married is a way for them to prove their love towards each other and to the world. And if that makes them happy, I'm not the one that wants to take it away from them.

  • Chris says:

    But for many people, getting married is a way for them to prove their love towards each other and to the world. And if that makes them happy, I’m not the one that wants to take it away from them.

    Yes sure I agree with your second sentence. It is no doubt wrong to want to discard marriage.

    As for the first sentence, this opens a debate I had with several friends here already, i.e. marriage as a proof of love. Mmhh.. I wonder… It is a personal feeling but I cannot see it as a proof of love and I do not think you should have to prove your love. But this is an open and complex question…;-)

    I like your story about the signing of the papers πŸ™‚ Wonderful!

  • Robert Nyman says:

    Chris,

    Oh absolutely, there's no need to prove or to have a sign for your love, but some people feel that way.

    Also, I'm glad that you liked the story. πŸ™‚

  • Tommy Olsson says:

    When I and my girlfriend went to that hearing, I also managed to have my fly open the whole meeting

    Maybe they just thought that you'd misunderstood the whole process of proving that you were the father… πŸ™‚

  • Robert Nyman says:

    Tommy,

    Maybe they just thought that you’d misunderstood the whole process of proving that you were the father…

    Ha ha ha! πŸ˜€

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