Firefox, The Little Memory Hog

Firefox, The Little Memory Hog lived happily together with his family, the Mozillas, in a land far far away. Firefox had now turned 2.0.0.1 and it was time to attend kindergarten.

On the way there he walked past his favorite tree, IE [ay-ee]. IE was a son of a beech, and he tried to make a lot of friends. Unfortunately, the problem was that IE spoke a language of its own, unlike what all others spoke, so no one understood him. For instance, when IE tried to wave, everyone else perceived it as him giving them the finger.

So, suffice to say, IE didn’t get many friends because of its lack of wanting to change and try to adapt to others. Long ago, IE had a Scottish cousin from the MacIntosh clan, who was much better at adapting, but they had a falling out, so now, no more Macs at the IE family reunions.

In the kindergarten class, Firefox had two friends: Opera and Safari. Opera wasn’t the cutest kid on the block, but he was as fast as lightning as soon as he got any task to do. However, as opposed to IE, Opera wanted to be friends with everybody, so he pretended to understand all kind of languages and properties. This sometimes failed, though, because pretending to be a local doesn’t always work unless you behave exactly as the locals under all circumstances.

Safari, in turn, was oh-so-dashing and everyone thought she was very beautiful. But, like with many beautiful things in the world, beauty isn’t everything. Most of the time, Safari got along with the other kids, but, at occasions, Safari acted completely perplexed when it came to some interaction with the others. This led to some misunderstanding and harsh words, but in the long run, her beauty and fantastic ability to look good in all the garment from the world-wide brand CSS made people forgive her.

One day, the teachers at the kindergarten realized that Firefox was eating a lot of memory, much more than it should. They naturally got worried by this, and scheduled a meeting with Mr. and Mrs. Mozilla to talk about this. However, their response was just that “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature”. Somewhat worried about this attitude, the teachers could do nothing else but accept it. After all, Firefox was the brightest kid in class with a bright and promising future, so they they felt that it was no need to try and quench Firefox lust for life at his early age.

And that, my friends, is how life passes by in a land known to us mere mortals as Browsers.

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